Days Go Bye

Monday, August 27, 2007

So they say 'Love Knows No Boundaries' but sometimes they lie!

Lately I've been doing some thinking, I've never been cheated on,(either that or I still don't know that I have)so which would be a better situation? 1. Your girlfriend cheated on you and you don't know anything. 2. Your girlfriend cheated on you and you found out from someone. 3. Your girlfriend cheated and she told you. Do you think picking a number describes who you are? I think it does.

Well I'm kinda stuck now, don't know which one to pick! I really really want to pick number 1 but I'm really grossed out with the thought of sharing my GF with someone else.... the thought of her going to bed with someone else... hmmm *yuckx!* So I think I want to know. But, if I didn't know that it wouldn't be gross. Actually no, it'd be gross just without me knowing... hmmm

I'll definitely not take the second one, cause that would be a super big blow to my ego, I'm not saying that the other choices wouldn't but, number 2 would be the biggest ego-killer. Not only is it an ego-killer, this choice would most definitely be the end of the relationship. Imagine this situation, ' You find out your girlfriend is cheating on you, you go home and ask her this, have you been cheating on me? she says, " NO" you can kiss your relationship BYE BYE (now the tougher question is, which one is more devastating? the cheating or the lying? I think the lying)

Now for the most painful choice, door number 3. Let's see, "Baby, I'm really sorry, I've something to tell you, I cheated on you." hmmm.... doesn't sound right, how can it sound right? Its not! But anyways, would you forgive her? I guess its a question of how much you think the relationship means to you. (Well I have this theory, if your partner tell you that he/she cheated, its most likely he/she wants the relationship to work so they tell you OR, they think that their about to get caught and they tell you so that you don't get that mad) I somehow I think if they cheated on you, they'd cheat again. You think so? BUT I guess I want to know, that from there I'll decide what to do next

Hmmm.... the more I write the more I begin to wonder why would people cheat in the first place? (I define cheating as, sleeping with someone else. Flirting and kissing doesn't count) If you love someone, would you cheat on him/her? I don't think so. I guess If someone cheats on you, he/she doesn't love you enough. The reason I define flirting and kissing as not cheating is because to flirt or to kiss someone (but it depends on your age, if your in high school maybe its different but I'm talking about college and working life) its very easy, but when you sleep with some one, it take alot of premeditation (with or without the influence of alcohol, although some people react differently, I believe you are still in control of your actions except your sense or right and wrong are affected but you are still responsible for what you do) SO yes, I believe that If you can cheat on your partner you don't deserve to be forgiven. No matter what the excuse is.

Picture taken from: The Heart of a Musician

p.s: I know they say 'love knows no boundaries' but that doesn't mean you can go around sleeping with other people. Not all sayings are true! :P

posted by DjBenn at 12:06 AM

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8 Comments:

At August 28, 2007 at 5:33 AM, Saran

according to your definition of cheating...it means i didn't cheat! :)

hahahaha i still love you ben!
At August 28, 2007 at 8:16 AM, DjBenn

=.= keep telling yourself that :P muakx
At August 31, 2007 at 10:56 PM, Saran

:D
At September 3, 2007 at 9:28 AM, eyries

what if the person cheated but is very very very damn sorry to the level he/she goes crazy to the max. i have had a friend who's gf got so crazy after she cheated on him she couldnt forgive herself and drowned herself in self-guilt and was so concious after that.

what if you know your partner is so very sorry and the pain that he/she goes through is so excruciating in self-punishment that you know he/she wont ever do it again?

will you treat it as the tide of a relationship and flaws in it. what if it wasnt getting emotionally attached but of more of a 1 night spur of the moment when your brain doesnt think. cos that was the situation that my friend's gf went thru.. she felt the burden of the guilt so badly that she had cheated on him.

to say goodbye when you know that he/she punished him/herself so badly for doin it when you know there wont be a next? i dont know whether people would gv these people a chance... but i imagine that some people purely learn. its a case to case basis i guess...

:)

everyone has their stand.
At September 3, 2007 at 10:13 AM, NO37

Hmmmm... i agree with Ben. Its something you gotta think really thoroughly. A relationship isn't considered one if it isn't based on trust and love... So in any case, unless the person is drugged or forced, cheating happens deliberately... Like quoted, "it takes a lot of premeditation..."

=)
At September 3, 2007 at 11:00 PM, DjBenn

This comment has been removed by the author.
At September 4, 2007 at 2:50 AM, DjBenn

Well Eries, like I said, it depends on the situation. You may feel sorry for your friends gf but it happened, she cheated, end of story. Someone once said, You can forgive, but never forget. Maybe if you have it in you to try to work your relationship out, by all means, I guess I was abit harsh on the not forgiving part, isn't that what life is about, forgiving? but than again, its never the same, you'll always be wondering in the back of your mind if you can still trust that person, or bear the pain again?

I'm not tryin to say if someone cheats that's it for them, I'm just saying that don't let your emotions(pity, anger, bitterness whatever it is) affect your judgment. If you love that person a lot, than by all means work things out but if you don't, don't stay and continue your heartache just because she crys every night begging for forgiveness. Your only prolonging a dead relationship.

Everyone has their opinions, this is mine
At January 22, 2008 at 5:34 AM, snowstarfish

damn!!!